Thai Ladies and Dating - My First 2 Years Doing It
Before I Got Started Dating
I'd never been attracted to Thai women before.
Dating Asian women never entered my head.
I'd always been in the caucasian mindset though my second wife had dark skin which I found attractive.
Many white westerners love dating darker-skinned women too.
Are you looking to date a Thai woman? Have you thought about it; or wanted to know if there are any pitfalls? Are these girls fun and vibrant?
Foreigners travel to Thailand to find an Asian girlfriend or wife. Thai girls exhibit cultural differences in behaviour to western women. Relationship challenges appear due to a Thai woman's low financial stability, language disparity, and her uncertainty as to foreigners relationship goals. Providing her with clear defined milestones and a roadmap for her future strengthens your rapport. Interracial contacts must be approached slowly and with care.
So I'm a 55-year-old guy, two divorces and sick and tired of being treated like a second class human being by women.
Two years ago, I found myself with a single suitcase and a laptop landing at Bangkok Airport. I'm here to stay, and hopefully, my experiences will help more western guys who find themselves in Thailand, whether as a holiday or more permanent.
No sooner than I had entered the terminal than I was confronted, head-on, with ordinary, everyday Thai women.
My eyes were bulging with a bevy of hotties, and I knew some fantastic adventures were coming my way.
I am not the type of guy to confront a Thai girl directly.
I know many guys would do that, but it isn't my style.
Maybe I'm a little shy, or perhaps it feels too brazen to ask Thai ladies out for a coffee date when I don't know anything about them.
Thailand has a culture heavily influenced by Buddhist beliefs and teachings. 94% of the nearly 70,000,000 Thais are Theravada Buddhists.
Here in Thailand, young females must respect their husbands.
Thai men are the ones who are the boss.
They do as they please, without having to answer to their wives.
The girls believe once they have found love, they are with this man, for the rest of her life.
Thai men understand this teaching too.
They use this to their advantage.
It's common for Thai men to have a string of Thai girlfriends.
Thai men simply use sweet loving words to a potential girlfriend and show them kindness, affection and tell them that they love them.
The new girlfriend falls head over heels in love with the guy. D'oh
Now being in love, the girl is attached to the guy.
In reality, the Thai guy has another new Thai girlfriend that he can call upon whenever he wishes.
It isn't until these girls gain a little more experience and maturity that they realise the local men have played them.
Dating Thai men becomes something they avoid.
It doesn't take long for them to start dating western guys who are known to be more faithful in their relationships.
Is it any wonder that Thai dating sites are booming in popularity, amongst the Thai female community?
And what's the next phase?
A Thai Dating Site Seemed Natural
My focus was on getting a Thai girlfriend.
I know there are heaps of female Thai singles everywhere here in Thailand.
It's time for a change and the time to find cute Thailand women was, NOW, dammit!
I was on a mission to get the first notch in my belt and meet a beautiful Thai girl, face to face :)
My good friend, living in Thailand, promptly explained his processes. Problem solved.
Joining a Thai dating site couldn't be easier.
The join process involves completing a varying amount of different personal information.
It can range from a 2 to a 4-page join. Thai Romances takes less than 40 seconds to join.
Once you've completed the personal profile areas like your age, location gender, etc., it is advisable to upload some good quality photos of yourself.
It isn't mandatory, and you can do this part later.
My advice is to be prepared and get them ready and do it all when you start, so people have something to look at immediately.
Think of it this way: Photos are the first visual representation of you to all those Thai ladies.
Everybody likes to look into the eyes of someone they find interesting.
Thai women are the same as western men.
Interesting Fact About Profile Photos:
My testing (over time) suggests if you do not have a dating site profile photo that you will get almost 0% interest from other members.
One profile photo is the minimum to get some interest.
My tests suggest only showing yourself in these photos to be ideal.
People don't get confused about who's who.
Uploading a few pictures displaying your hobbies or interests are a good conversation starter as well.
You want to be able to get the online messaging started as soon as you can.
Don’t put too much in your profile description either.
Less is better and gives you some mystery.
Thai women don’t have to know your life story from the start.
You should give them some pieces of the puzzle and let them complete the picture of you the way they want it.
Once your profile and photos are approved, it is time for browsing cute Thai girls (and cute Thai ladyboys if they're your thing).
Hundreds and Thousands of Beautiful Girls
With around 23,000,000 ladies within the dating age range in Thailand, this corner of the world is every man's dream.
When you're starting, you are going to make some mistakes. I know I made lots of them.
Be prepared and make a list of what works and what doesn't work.
Yes, make a list because it works, time and time again.
The other dating site list you want to compile and modify, are the characteristics of the ladies you are hoping to meet.
If you like petite or slim ladies, then don't look at any others.
Focus your attention on who you want!
There are thousands and thousands of slim cute girls.
Slim women are far more common than overweight ones in Thailand.
But if you like heavier-set Thai women then don't let me stop you.
Interesting Fact About Sending Dating Site Messages:
All women, including Thais, get bombarded with the same type of messages on online dating sites.
Example: "I can't believe how pretty you are".
Sending an online message like this to a popular and cute Thai girl is likely to get you an immediate rejection.
Have a look at their profile picture and try to find a way to make fun of them in a playful manner. Remember, Thai humour is limited, so keep things simple.
Phrase the opening message in question form, so they will reply AND keep the question short and straightforward to avoid Thai language translation problems.
Remember you're on a dating site with thousands of cuties.
It's your solemn duty to contact and send messages to a lot of ladies.
Online dating is a numbers game.
Some Thai women are going to be interested in you. Some are on the site because they're bored and some are even looking for sex customers.
Thai women (and Thai ladyboys) have messaged me selling sexual services; others are offering to clean my condo, or looking for someone to go to the movies.
A Thai Dating Agency was looking for customers. And a few girls trying to expand their MLM business for Thai cosmetics and beauty products.
It's a melting pot of variety here in Thailand.
A casual lifestyle and acceptance is the order of the day.
For those profile members trying to get customers, simply decline and thank them for the offer.
Unless the women are real scammers trying to trick you out of money, please don't bother to report them.
They're only trying to make some extra Baht (Thai currency) for a better life.
Before too long, I started to lose track of what I was doing.
I was getting very confused who was who and what had said to me, by all these women.
One of the first tools I started using is called Evernote and free across most platforms and smartphones.
Make a notebook called Thai Dating. Create a new Note for each of the Thai ladies with a copy/paste of their online profile information and what they've said to you and other relevant info.
Essential: Make sure you also include their photos in the Evernote Note so you can recognise them when meeting them.
When it got to the point of meeting them, I could quickly refer to this note and refresh my memory so that I wouldn't make a fool of myself.
The other tool that is used extensively by most Thais is called Line.
The Line application has been designed better for one-on-one messaging.
You can use others such as WeChat and Tango and Skype, but predominantly Line would be used by 95% or more of the Thai girls here, in Thailand.
And oddly enough they also use it for business.
Install Line of your smartphone RIGHT NOW!
Now To Meet Them In The Flesh
Thai women need (and want) to look respectable in public, and you must ensure that the first meeting gives them a feeling of safety and security.
Living in Bangkok, my first meeting place is usually a big mall called Terminal 21.
Depending on where you're staying in Thailand, I suggest finding the most accessible place for you to travel to; one that is close to public transport. There's little resistance for the women to meet you.
What I ended up doing was walk around the mall and take photographs of areas to meet the girl.
This way, you can easily send them the photo of the meeting spot, so they aren't confused (if they have never been there before).
Interesting Fact #1 About The First Thai Girl Date:
Don't fall into the trap of going out to dinner.
Consider this: Going to dinner with someone you quickly discover you don't like means you need to sit through a meal for about an hour or so wishing that you could leave after five minutes.
It'll be the same for the girls well.
I only did this once.
It's a mistake I never made again.
Going for a coffee at a coffee shop in a public mall is a more relaxed environment. The ladies will feel safe and under no pressure.
The first meeting is never about any sort of sexual advantage either. That takes place after Meeting #2.
That's the way it is here, with Thai women.
They will be on their guard this first meeting, and they see it as disrespectful towards them if you pressure her to give up sex on the first date.
Don't even try.
Mind you, you can go from meeting #1 to meeting #2 on the first day, and that worked out OK as far as the sex part went.
But for the first meeting, its coffee and talk only.
Interesting Fact #2 About The First Date:
This tip takes practice and determination, despite how easy it might sound.
Look at their eyes when you're talking and don't let your eyes wander towards all those sexy and hot Thai cuties that are walking past in their short skirts and hot pants.
The Thai lady you're having coffee with is looking at you.
Thai ladies seeing you look at other girls is disrespectful, and you won't be seeing them for meeting #2.
Avoid Women Who Do These
Take ages in replying to online messages
Not responding is 100% accurate but keep it in mind.
There's a thing here in Thailand called the boyfriend or girlfriend 'upgrade'.
Yeah, it's a thing :)
Many Thai ladies who want westerner (called Farang) are in a cycle of continually looking for a better man.
If they're slow in replying to you, it can mean they're also focussing on someone else, and you are a backup plan.
It might also mean they're popular with the guys.
Don't avoid this girl on this point alone.
Seem to be always online
Most online dating sites give you plenty of indicators whether these ladies are online when you are.
Thai Romances, for example, has an online status.
Others have similar.
Be wary of Thai ladies who are always online as they 'might' continually looking for the next 'upgrade'.
They've been on dating sites for a long time
These Thai women often just love meeting new guys, and you'll find these girls only many online dating sites.
They are likely a serial party girl or farang hunter.
Which isn't necessarily bad, they can be great fun. Put the girl on your rotation of girlfriends.
But don’t target these girls if you are looking for a serious long term relationship.
Some girls only want to chat and not meet
All women have different and diverse behaviour patterns.
The ones who give me the most frustration are the ones only wanting to chat on Line and never meet me.
There are two distinct reasons for this.
First Reason: The girl simply wants someone to chat to during her lunch break or when she's bored.
Many Thai ladies don't have a vast network of friends.
They turn to chat programs to relieve the boredom and improve their English skills.
Second Reason: They are scared.
Understand a Thailand woman focuses their earlier age on gaining a good education. She will have a comfortable life with stable employment.
These girls don't meet many boyfriends because they're busy with work.
The idea of meeting a strange foreign man and having to have a conversation with them leaves them very apprehensive and scared.
If you're looking for a companion and the one you are chatting to resists meeting and only want to talk, stop chatting and move on to the next one.
There are plenty of Thai women just waiting to meet you.
She is a LadyBoy (unless you want a ladyboy)
You can never be too sure, in Thailand.
In central Bangkok, I quickly discovered that some of the most beautiful girls where ladyboys.
I mean these ladyboys were stunning.
Some ladyboys or kathoey are looking to sell sexual services to westerners.
Kathoey is mainly a lifestyle choice, and some are prostitutes but not the majority.
If you aren't looking for a ladyboy, then my motto is prevention is better than cure.
It is OK to ask women whether she is a ladyboy.
They know themselves that ladyboys are beautiful and often pretend to be a real woman.
There are some noticeable differences with a ladyboy.
Unless they've had an operation, they will have a man's Adams Apple.
They're often taller and have larger hands and feet than a woman has.
Finally, to your disappointment, you'll find they also have a penis, but I hope it doesn't get to that stage.
What kind of Thai women shouldn't I date?
- they always seem to be online
- they've been on dating sites for a long time
- they only want to chat and not to meet
- they are ladyboys
What are good dating profile photos?
- clear headshot photos are always best
- showing you involved in an activity
- showing you smiling or in a happy environment
- not showing you smoking or drinking
- never showing nudity
Hi, my name is Martin. I have many friends in and traveled throughout the Asia/Pacific regions for the past 17 years. I am passionate in helping others with my insight and past adventures.
I hope you enjoy the stories I write and take a little something away from them. I've contributed to over 160 posts on travel, dating, marriage and relationships.