Thai Romances

Forget Learning to Speak Thai - Thai Women Don't Care!

Martin Cooney
June 03, 2020 • 15 min read • Click for comments
Updated: April 02, 2022
thai girl saying some thai words speech bubbles

Coming to Thailand and thinking you should learn the Thai language, to impress Thai women, is an urban myth. Many guys are under the belief that learning Thai will give them an edge in picking up Thai women. That theory is wrong.

Let's lay out some opening arguments and then give you a better alternative.

Fact: The tonal Thai language is difficult to learn for Europeans Fact: 9% to 17.7% of Thailand's GDP comes from tourism (Wikipedia) Fact: On average, a tourist spends on average 9.5 days on holiday in Thailand (TAT Data) Fact: It takes on average xx time to get to a conversational level

Have you wondered if it is worth learning the Thai language, for a short stay in the Land of Smiles?

The Thai language is difficult for Europeans to learn because it is tonal by nature. Costs to master Thai ranges to 33,000 Thai baht for 300 hours tuition. A tourist spends an average of 9.5 days in Thailand, so the return on learning investment is low. Thailand is a tourist-centric country with 9% to 17.7% of Thailand's GDP coming from tourism. English is the 2nd most common language used by native Thai women, due to tourism.

Wanting To Learn So You Can Date Thai Women ?

Many men ask if they should be learning Thai. Many Thai women's opening message question, to them, is whether he knows how to speak Thai.

In our experience, it's an innocent question, without much thought on the Thai girls' part. These girls are on a dating website, to date, meet up and hang out with foreign men, after all. They also have some level of English language skills and want they are also looking to expand those English skills. (Better job prospects, higher job qualifications and more opportunity for a better life and lifestyle).

Thai women on a Thai dating site will ask a variety of opening questions such as:-

  • Can you speak Thai?
  • You ever visit Thailand before?
  • Do you like Thai food?
  • Do you have a Thai girlfriend?
  • Do you work in Thailand?
  • What you look for on this website?

All innocent questions - trying to get a handle on your Thai experience. Don't read the question as them wanting you to know or learn their language. Most would never dream of imposing such a burden on you.

Thai people already understand the essential English words.

Thai signage with English to Chatuchak Markets
Thai signage with English - you do not need worry

Can You Live in Thailand Without Knowing Thai Language?

Did you know living in Thailand without Thai skills is easier than you think?

Major cinemas in Thailand show movies in the English language, with Thai subtitles. Translation programs such as Google Translate offer 'live translations' and 'photo to translation' features which are useful for shopping and groceries. Google Translate will now also translate direct live speech when conversing with a native Thai speaker.

Translation programs have come leaps and bounds in the last 12 months when it comes to an in-depth feature set and translation accuracy, especially for Thai. If the translation isn't 100% accurate, at the very least, you will clearly understand the context and meaning.

You will use your lack of Thai speaking skills to your advantage too. I did my first real grocery shopping in Bangkok, at a local Tesco shopping outlet.

To my inexperienced eyes, every product in every shop has Thai labels.

"How was I ever going to survive in this country?!?!?!"

It turns out; food always has photos on the label. Food products in Thailand also have English translations. Most foreign-speaking countries do the same.

Purely by accident, a cute Thai girl was next to me choosing the same product. Thankfully, she spoke some English and explained what was inside the product I was holding.

Well, winner winner chicken dinner! I now have a new pickup strategy!

From then on, when I notice cute Thai women near me when shopping, I simply feigned being a dummy and asked her if she knew what this food was.

Some don't have a clue with English. 75% of the time, they do. Thank the Thai girl for her help and ask for her Line ID.

You now have a new date while you did your shopping.

You are better to invest your time and energy into upping your dating skills. Forget the time, effort and money to learn a complicated language that has little return on investment.

Thai with English food labelling
Thai with English food labels - again, no worries

Your Upcoming Thai Lifestyle

I used to think it would be necessary to learn Thai myself.

When I landed in first arrived in Bangkok, my friend here was studying Thai at a local language school, for his Student Visa. I thought it was an unavoidable task and booked in for a block of 10 lessons.

Well, the Thai teachers didn't have a good grasp on English themselves. Then, every time a new student would start the next week, the teachers would start from lesson 1 again. I dropped out with this happening four weeks in a row and chalked it up to a poor experience.

Why am I learning Thai in the first place?

If a foreign man living in Thailand wants any degree of English conversation, he needs to target Thai women who already converse, at some level, in English. In reality, that's your real endgame. No-fuss, no study.

These girls want to learn English more than you want to learn Thai, trust me.

Since they want to learn, teach them English as an incentive to go out with you. They will show you a few cute words which will give them their sense of purpose in the arrangement.

Remember to have Google Translate installed, in case you get stuck on the meaning or context of what they're trying to tell you.

The Universal Finger

If you've travelled anywhere else in the world, you'll already know that just pointing your finger at something you want to buy, works wonders.

Thailand is no different.

It's a tourism-driven country and money talks. Thais want to sell their goods to you, and they understand what 'the finger' means lol

Example: Looking to buy some cigarettes at the local 7-Eleven? Just point behind the counter where the smokes are located and say the brand you are wanting. The first time it might take a bit of finger-pointing, but eventually, the 7-Eleven girl will find them, and you'll know where they are next time.

If you're staying in a location where there are many foreigners such as Sukhumvit, Bangkok then English and finger-pointing will get you 95% of what you want.

A Thai daughter with her mother
Thai cutie on the left - do you really want to understand her mother?

Some Things You Don't Want To Understand

Some things are better left unsaid or, in Thailand, you're better not to understand and leave it at that.

Example 1:-

We've had my Thai girlfriend's mother over at our condo a few times. She doesn't speak a word of English, probably because she 75 years old and from a farming background.

She tries to talk to me and uses 'the finger' and sign language - sound familiar?

Anyway, my girlfriend asked me wouldn't it be better if I learnt Thai a bit more so I could chat with her mother.

'Why would I want your mother to understand what I'm talking about, babe', I replied.

I mean come on guys, there's no way you'd want your girls' mother bleeping in your ear all day long, would you?

Avoiding learning Thai is a better winning strategy in this case! lol

Example 2:-

Thai women like to gossip. All women want to chitter-chatter.

They like to gossip about their life and you, with their friends. When they talk about you though, surprisingly, it will only be in a good light. Thai women are always proud to have a boyfriend, especially a foreign one. They will never put having one in danger.

Your Thai girlfriend knows you can't speak Thai, so she's got a safety zone to talk in her native language if she's got a friend nearby, with you. They're chatter on and on and are happy girls doing it.

Do you want to try and keep up with the latest Thai fashion, what they've eaten or plan to eat, the weirdness of the Thai work culture or even what she says about you? Nope!

Give your girl some space if you hear your name mentioned. Or the word 'farang' (meaning foreigner) then casually ease a question to her sometime later. Don't force it; keep it casual.

Let your girl explain in her own words.

You Just Don't Want To Know

Most men come to live in Thailand to get away from the 'poor experiences that western women have given them, in the past.

Sure they are happy to meet, date and live with the right Thai woman. Thing is they also want to restrict the verbal interaction with them to a bare minimum. They also prefer to limit the girl's English skills as well.

Most live a great life under these conditions. They're using 'the finger', body language and gestures with their live-in Thai partner and it's enough for them and her.

The ex-pat has his buddies to talk 'man stuff' with, and his Thai girlfriend does the same.

While this situation isn't for everyone, it works wonderfully well in Thailand.

A Few Words Is OK

Learning a few essential words in Thai will be respectful, with the Thai women you will meet. Enough to be polite for greeting and thanking or food - that's it.

EnglishThai & Sound Bite
Hello or Goodbyesawadee krab/kaa
How are you?sa bai dee mai krab
I'm finesa bai dee
I'm not wellmai sa bai dee
Thank youkhop khun krab/kaa
Yeschai krab/kaa
Nomai krab/kaa
No worriesmai pen rai
You are cutekhun naa rak krab/kaa
Having fun?sanuk mai
I'm Hungryhiu (hee-yoo)
Deliciousaroi (a-roy)
I'm lostlong tahng
Can you helpchoo-ay dai mai
Excuse Mekor tot
How Much Is This?a nee tao rai (a-nee-tow-rye)
I Don't Understandmai khao jai
Ending Sentences Rule for above: If you are a guy, you need to end your sentences with the word (khrup/krap/krab) similarly if you are a woman, you end your sentences with the name (kaa/kap). It's a respect and polite suffix in the Thai language.

When To Learn Thai Language

There are lifestyle situations when any foreigner wants to learn another language. That's human nature. Thai and Thailand are no different.

Having a conversational level of the Thai language will be advantageous, to some.

Living in the Provinces

If your plans for Thailand include living outside the main cities, learning Thai will be the better course of action. The further you move into the country and remote regions of the country, the less English and other language are used or understood.

Many Thai women prefer a quieter, more rural lifestyle. They may come from farming stock, for example.

Many people can't live in total communication isolation. Making the jump to learning Thai will be a necessity for you, in the long run.

More Control & Understanding

Some men just want total control over their situation.

Living long term in Thailand, you will find situations which are difficult to handle by yourself.

How would you go about calling a plumber to fix a leaking water pump? Sign language and finger-pointing will get you nowhere.

The ideal solution is to live with a Thai woman and get her do give the instructions to the plumber. She loves being able to use her Thai language to contribute to the relationship and your living situation. Finding her jobs to do makes her a happy Thai girl - she is helping and an active participant in the relationship.

Happy Thai women make you even more content.


Learning the Thai language is not an essential task to undertake, as some might think.

You will live in Thailand for the rest of your days. You will happily get by with almost zero language skills and live a fulfilling, happy and satisfying lifestyle.

Finding the right happy compatible Thai girlfriend makes all the language problems disappear.

It is our recommended path until you need to change.


What are the Top 10 Thai words to understand?

  • Hello or Goodbye --- sawadee krab/kaa
  • Thank you --- khop khun krab/kaa
  • Yes --- Chai krab/kaa
  • No --- Mai krab/kaa
  • You are cute --- Khun naa rak krab/kaa
  • Having fun? --- sanuk mai
  • I'm Hungry --- Hiu (hee-yoo)
  • Delicious --- Aroi (a-roy)
  • Excuse Me --- Kor Tot
  • How Much Is This? --- A Nee Tao Rai (a-nee-tow-rye)

Do I need to learn the Thai language, to impress Thai women?

  • For a short holiday, no.
  • Most Thai women can speak some English, so no
  • Living in a mostly foreigner area in Thailand, no
  • If you are time and money poor, no
  • If you want more control over your life in Thailand, yes

Last updated: April 02, 2022

Martin enjoys Asian food, cute Asian girls and travel in South East Asia.
Martin Cooney
Enjoying Life in Asia/Pacific

Hi, my name is Martin. I have many friends in and traveled throughout the Asia/Pacific regions for the past 17 years. I am passionate in helping others with my insight and past adventures.

I hope you enjoy the stories I write and take a little something away from them. I've contributed to over 160 posts on travel, dating, marriage and relationships.