The bottom line: Your own happiness and future takes precedence over the happiness of others which includes your kids.
But like almost everybody, you’d like your children to have a good relationship with your new girlfriend.
For a single dad getting back into the dating scene, your kids will have some natural pushback.
This can happen even with you dating a western woman.
Your children are going to see your new Thai girl as being different to their own mother who’d be caucasian.
This can bring a number of challenges for your children because they do not understand Asian or Thai culture and the differences between the Western world (their world).
This is not about racism but more visual appearances as well as cultural attitude.
When I moved to Thailand, I explained the reasons why I did the move to my son as well as sending him some photos of myself with a few Thai girls, being blissfully happy.
I certainly appreciated hearing from him, expressing how happy he was for me.
Like anything in life, people are resistant to change.
Children are no different.
It’s important for a parent to start the education process early.
Explain to your kids that it is time for you to look for a new lady in your life.
Let them know why it is important to you.
Explain to them, in simple terms, about your emotions and why it is that you’re looking to date a Thai girl.
Start slow, using bite-size pieces of information.
Avoid overwhelming them with big fancy words, with psychological explanations.
They don’t need to hear that.
Simple words and an easy process will pave the way for your children to start understanding.
With all change, comes a period of adjustment or readjustment.
Understand that your kids are seeing their single dad who’s been able to give his full amount of spare time to just them, to now sharing that time with somebody new in his life (who is Asian and different).
So they need to adjust to this new time-sharing as much as they need to understand why your meeting a Thai lady is important to you.
Adjustment takes time.
Be okay with spending that time.
Part of the adjustment process should also involve your children meeting your new girl from Thailand.
It doesn’t have to be in person.
You can easily do the meet and greet phase using something as easy as Skype.
Allowing your children to see you and your Thai girlfriend together is a good thing.
Conflict can come from your children thinking your new partner might be a replacement to their mother.
When you’re talking to your kids, reinforce this is not the case.
Also that your new Thai lady friend is someone that you need in your life, for your happiness.
Get your kids involved.
If you’re living overseas in Thailand and making a routine Skype call to your kids (who live in another country) then have your girlfriend join in on the call.
Your kids can visually see that you are with a new woman (who is Thai), she makes you happy and wants to become a part of a new family.
Arranging your children to visit you is then an ideal opportunity to have both them and your Thai girlfriend involved in some sightseeing or activities that you can all enjoy together.
It’s a matter of expanding the bonding experience for you all.
Like online dating, make sure that any and all bonding experiences are kept at a fun level. Look at it as an extension of your future happiness and the happiness of your family.
Remember, you are certainly not the first first single dad that is now dating who's experienced this speed bump on the road to happiness.
Author: Martin Cooney
Enjoying Life in Asia/Pacific
Hi, my name is Martin. I have many friends in and traveled throughout the Asia/Pacific regions for the past 17 years. I am passionate in helping others with my insight and past adventures.
I hope you enjoy the stories I write and take a little something away from them. I've contributed to over 160 posts on travel, dating, marriage and relationships.